Struggles with power.

Lately, I’ve been hearing more talk and understanding around morality and the differing types. One of which that has mostly caught my interest would be vertical morality. This type is based on authority. Think of a pyramid. Those with the most authority are at the top and those with the least are at the bottom. We typically see this play out in most religions. God has ultimate authority, and since God created us, God can destroy us at whim and, due to His inherent authority, can do so with any justification. Such as when the God of the Bible kills all of the first born Egyptian children during Passover. There is no concern for the families that were burdened and harmed in the process. All that matters is that justice was served, and God is righteous in making the decisions, because of our understanding of authority. God can do no wrong, and we mustn’t ever question Him!

We’ve created these systems of thought called ‘religion’ and constructed them around vertical morality. We’ve imposed this way of thinking onto a creator. We’ve anthropomorphized a monolithic figure that has ultimate authority and power, and the two inherently reflect one another: religion reflects vertical morality and vise versa. Which also stands to reason why there is so much influence from the patriarchy intertwined throughout, because religion is man’s creation. It is man’s attempt at qualifying the divine.

This reflection between vertical morality and religion is what substantiates the existence of religion. We learn our sense of morality from how we are raised, and religion is there to reinforce our understanding of morality. This is how they feed into each other. Although people believe they derive their morality from religion, the opposite is true, and they use religion to justify their already established morality. This is why so many atheists find it difficult to refute religious people, because theists are using their own version of morality to defend it’s own creation: religion. And atheists are using an alternative form of morality called horizontal morality, which primarily is based on empathy, or focusing on the harm caused. Therefore, God shouldn’t be able to kill anyone because that would be creating harm. Everyone is held to the same standard and no one is above it, even God; thusly, the term is horizontal morality.

Additionally, the people are born with sin and lack proper foresight, therefore they must look to their God in order to save them, which further extends the imbalance of power. This view of an authoritarian creator has permeated into the infrastructure of how we view the world, of which we’ve also constructed through the vertical morality system. Therefore, when a person has been bestowed authority, and if given the chance, can also kill, harm, or abuse people without much repercussion, because they’ve been given and entrusted with the authority to make such difficult decisions. We assume they’re made with the best intentions, because if it were us in that position - people who have the perspective of the ones’ being judged and condemned - we’d do whatever it took for the most desirable and fair outcome.

However, we also impose our own beliefs behind the decisions they’ve made, before they even get the chance to explain themselves. Offering them a scapegoat, for whatever their motives were. We tend to forget that people are fallible along with the fact that authority and power are like a drug. This ability to subjugate and deliver what we want most to ourselves. Most of these decisions are done selfishly, and made in order to create more power or to hold onto what’s left. This is a perceived kind of power that has great influence. But the only reason it exists in this way is because we give it exorbitant life through our subscription to vertical morality.

Look at the way most governments are structured. They’re built based on the belief that one person is equipped to direct, guide and lead an entire country of people. They’ve been given authority to make big decisions, like our President sending additional aid to Israel who’s actively committing genocide. Most people who ascribe to a vertical morality do whatever it takes to justify his actions. They’ll accept any wordplay without question, because they’ve been taught not to question authority. “A reason is as good as any.” It’s even how we raise our children. Teaching them to obey our whim, “do it because I said so,” and then we feel disrespected when they question us. Because we also have been raised not to question authority.

Today, I was pulled over by a police officer. The area I was driving in has major construction project happening that has limited the crossflow of traffic. And I rationalized that since there would be no cars, I could California stop at this stop sign before entering a traffic circle. I don’t understand why it’s a stop sign, instead of a yield, but it is. As I’m driving through, a police officer was on the other side just entering the circle. I’d only just noticed them after I’d entered, because they were to my left. Well, he saw the opportunity and took it. Pulled me over not long after.

The officer seemed to be a decent person, and he treated me fairly although he was hesitant. He wasn’t acting horribly towards me, but the thing that got me was the anxiety and fear that arose when I got pulled over. It feels like getting in trouble. It feels gross. And then cognitive dissonance plays in my heart, because although I understand that the rules are there to keep people safe, this glorified hall monitor has the power to make me feel anxious and disgusting. It felt like a deep ick in my heart as I was reeling in fear.

Now, I don’t believe anyone has the power to make us feel something, because then they have the power to control us. What I do know, is that people can trigger emotions that we carry inside. And in this moment, I felt disgusted. Not at myself, but the way I fawned (a fear response in addition to fight, flight, and freeze) and just crumpled to this person of power. I put on the mask of a friendly voice, listened to all instructions, and became someone else, someone obedient, all for the purpose of appeasing the officer. A person who has been granted the authority to dictate me as a person. “You must obey, or else!”

Then, I thanked him for letting me off with a warning. It felt like I was thanking my abuser for not hitting me this time. But what else can I do? If I don’t toe the line, they have been given authority to handle the situation in any way they deem necessary to get me to comply. There are police officers that have murdered people and have gotten away with it. Their actions are justified, because these people are in the line of duty and have to make fast judgment calls. So, we’re taught to empathize for officers, because they work in such tough and dangerous conditions. Except, they’re the ones creating the conditions! The system is literally created for them to flourish with power and authority. People are so conditioned with vertical morality that murderous cops are justified in their actions, because they’ve been bestowed and entrusted with this power. However, power is not necessary to get people to adhere to the law, it’s just a continuation and a proliferation of how vertical morality has been entwined within our society.

You might be fighting what I’m saying. Your understanding within the concept of vertical morality makes this conversation seem ridiculous, and you might even feel the need to defend it. Which is fine. You operate within vertical morality and would believe those things. But unfortunately, unless you’ve been on the other end of that authoritarian fear tactic, you have no idea what it’s like to feel oppression. There are entire groups of the population that are far too familiar with the injustices that are explained away through vertical morality. How oppressed, how much control will it take for police to stop killing Blacks and other People of Color?

This is a constant topic of conversation, because people are being unjustly murdered for existing. But due to racism and profiling - that police are supposedly not doing, but in fact are - authority tells us to excuse these cops’ behavior even further, because there’s a reason! “We had to,” they cry, because their biases formulated an opinion of a person before they ever got to know them. The reason profiling still exists is because it’s a lazy way of analyzing a scene before encountering it. They claim that their job is so tough and dangerous, because they have to make assessments within minutes to avoid being a casualty themselves. But this is an excuse. They walk up with these prejudices and preconceived ideas, because they’ve not deconstructed them, and then use them to assess a scene so that they can quickly make a decision; but I have to question, is it the right decision, or are these quick and racist judgments what’s justifying their appalling actions?

It’s difficult to not get enraged on this subject, because killing people for the color of their skin and your limited capacity to understand people is appalling, disgusting, and vile. It’s not pretty, and it isn’t something that we should get used to. We shouldn’t be annoyed that “we’re talking about this again?” Yes! Because we will not become desensitized to senseless murders. Thank goodness my mixed child, that was in the car with me when I got pulled over, is passing enough that I don’t have to worry about him getting killed one day. That is, unless we make a change.

The vertical morality system is no longer an option. We can no longer justify murder simply due to the person’s job and status. Police officers in the United States self-reported that 40% of them, compared to the rest of the population falling at around 10%, had abused their family members. Understandably, police officers have more than the weight of authority on their shoulders as they also deal with everyday struggles, and this isn’t to disproportionately attack them. What’s important here is to point out that the authority given to people in these positions of power struggle to maintain their understanding of power, and often find themselves in a power imbalance even when they’re off duty.

This is not a direct attack at any one person, but a demand, an ultimatum that the system must change. People are trying to cover up bullet holes with Band-Aids when they try to implement new reform policies in the police force., but it needs an overhaul. The entire system is ripe with authoritarianism, and it continues to cycle the same rhetoric since retired police officers are the ones training the cadets. Their passing down “what worked for them.”

Unfortunately, I don’t have a solution to the problem, and I know that’s not very conducive. Because, if I’m going to denounce something, then I should have a solution, right? At least that’s what people say. Except, I’m not here to tell people what to do or what direction to take. I’m here to help deconstruct. Deconstructing starts with the individual, and then it permeates into the whole of humanity. When we can understand ourselves, we understand the all.

Alchemy is all about transformation, and one of the first steps is to realize what’s at the root of something. Unlike alchemizing physical matter, when we alchemize the soul it’s imperative to get to the root of a problem, or belief, before we can transform it into something new. Because we are made up with layers upon layers of programming either from society, the way we were raised, or by what we see in the media. Humans are complex, and alchemizing the soul takes time and patience. We must ask ourselves deep questions and be painfully honest with ourselves.

That’s the stage we’re in. We are actively discovering what’s at the root of society, the collective consciousness, so that we can look at what we want to keep, and change what we don’t. So, I don’t have a solution, because we’re still in the beginning stages. We’re separating and learning what’s at the root of our collective consciousness, so that we can continue to grow and make our world greater than ever.